These first appeared on Bartcop Entertainment.

The Spincter Election

Voting with your sphincter and against the sphincter of others

The 2004 election was decided by fear. Bush won by making people scared. People voted with their sphincter. They didn't vote with their hearts and heaven knows they didn't vote with their brains. The majority of Americans disapprove of Bush and his policies but were convinced to vote against their own best interests by fear. An emotional reaction driven by incessant, droning, fearmongering by the conservative news media. Nattering nabobs of negativism ruled the airwaves.

The 9/11 terror attacks, in retrospect, did not provoke the reaction of Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor shocked and united a nation. We panicked and sent Japanese Americans to relocation camps but we tightened our belt and made sacrifices as the attack brought out the best in America. We responded immediately and spent the next four years ridding the world of three evil empires.

By contrast, more than three years after the attack, Afghanistan is a bigger mess than when we went in, Iraq is in the middle of a bloody civil war, al Queda has more members than ever, terror attacks are increasing throughout the world, and the Bush administration doesn't even know who the enemy is much less how to find them.

9/11 spurred a reaction more like Kristallnacht. In 1938, an incident against a Nazi official was used as incitement for the larger hate-filled agenda of Hitler and propaganda minister Goebbels. In orchestrated attacks against their own people, Jews and anyone else out of favor with the religious right was vilified, attacked, thrown in relocation camps, and their property seized and/or destroyed. The Nazis whipped up their base and used the excuse to deprive Germans of democracy in the name of religion. They spent the next seven years as mass murderers, warmongers and religious nutjobs.

The Pearl Harbor attack did not cause Americans to fear the Japanese: it sent waves of outrage against Tojo, Mussolini and Hitler. We reacted quickly and precisely and we fixed the world with the help of many allies. In contrast, the 9/11 terror attacks caused fear and panic that persist to this day. Terror attacks are designed, by definition, to induce terror in a populace. Because of the weakness of George W. Bush, the goals of Osama bin Laden have been met. Americans are scared. The US pulled out of Saudi Arabia, another key bin Laden demand. And we took out Osama's hated enemy Saddam Hussein while increasing the amount of terrorists on the world stage. Right down the line, Bush has fallen prey to the wishes of the terrorists.

The Sphincter Election was a very slimy election. America is not Nazi Germany, but we're not Roosevelt's America either. Voter suppression and vote-rigging were rampant, though not as obvious as in 2000, and some of the voter manipulation is still coming out. The 2004 election proved that Republicans don't believe in Democracy. They want a theocracy, just like the Taliban. Fortunately, we are still a Democracy, or at least a Republic, and the neocons might want to remember that 55 million people voted for John Kerry, labeled as the #1 Liberal in America.

People voted their own sphincters, and they voted against the sphincters of others. Once again, the extreme right is more concerned about other people's sex lives than they are about values like love and commitment. Personally, I approve of committed monogamous relationships between people who love each other. But to give the devil his due, the evangelicals have made their point. We should define marriage just like it's defined in the Bible: Arranged marriages to multiple partners with concubines on the side.

The aftermath of the Sphincter Election has left me with one marriage option: Before the next terror attack, I have to find a woman with a large dowry.

Back to the Political Links page, or Dave Romm's Portal
or the Shockwave Home Page